to my sister, with love

Dear Tessa,

I may not be especially wise and I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I was also fifteen once, and every time I look at you, I am reminded that we were cut from the same fabric. So if you will indulge me, the following is an open letter that I wish I had received when I was fifteen. I submit it to you as a reminder of what you already know but what we all need to be reminded of.

Do with it what you will.

~

Remember that you are beautiful and vivacious.
Remember also that “beauty is as beauty does” and that outward beauty fades with time.
Develop yourself; figure out who you are; figure out who God has made you to be.
Don’t let others define who you are.
Don’t worry about the boys; they will come flocking later…trust me.
Smile.
Don’t read the beauty magazines; they will only make you dissatisfied.
Don’t worry about your weight; instead, learn about your health.
Don’t compare yourself to your friends. You will only damage your relationships with them, even if only in your head.
Dance.
Read. Read the classics. Read for fun.
Follow the news. Both national and global.
Develop your mind. Use it. Exercise it.
Dialogue with others; learn how to converse.
Learn how to be challenged by another viewpoint and not become defensive. Learn how to entertain that viewpoint, even if you don’t accept it.
Listen.
Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
Learn when to speak.
Discipline yourself, work hard, but play well.
Rest.
Get eight hours of sleep.
Don’t abuse your body. It is one of the greatest tools you have.
Look for the good in everyone.
Choose to love.
Choose to forgive.
Pursue your relationship with God; ask the tough questions; don’t be afraid to seek the answers.
Have mercy and grace for your elders who don’t know.
Continue to ask.
Laugh.
Work before play, but don’t become obsessed.
Pursue interests that you love; find out what it is that makes you tick, that you can do on your own. When your friends are busy, you will find this invaluable as you will never be bored.
Learn to read music; learn to play an instrument.
Sing.
Draw.
Write.
Keep a journal.
Visit those in the nursing homes.
Serve others. Seek to put others’ needs before your own.
Respect your elders.
Respect your parents.
Tell them you love them.
Tell your siblings you love them.
Show physical affection.
Learn how to cry.
Learn how to be angry.
Learn how to make a mistake.
Be quick to acknowledge wrong and ask for forgiveness.
Be careful of how much television you watch. You can never regain that time.
Paint.
Cook.
Bake.
Learn how to do your own laundry.
Learn how to clean a house.
Learn how to change a tire, sew on a button, pay a bill.
Take walks.
Listen to classical music.
Be confident without being arrogant.
Learn what it means to be humble.
Twirl.
Don’t be afraid to be unique
Realize that everyone just wants to be loved.

And most of all, remember that you are loved.

Your big sis,
Christy